Cleared the air – A teeny tiny tale

She was happy. Her family members loved her. Though she never went to school, she had an amazing talent. She was an awesome chef and love and happiness reflected in her dishes, the only thing she knew how to do.

Until one day, when she fell ill. Her body temperature rose high, like a kite flying in the sky. They did not get the food for days. They were angry, they became hot like a burning pot. She got sad, thought everyone loved her. But to her dismay, everyone had loved what she provided them with.

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Here she was, lying useless in the bed, she tried to join her thoughts like a puzzle, the pieces from the past lying here and there.

But, in the end, she smiled once again, as it cleared the air.

Happy Women’s Day??

Do we really need it? I don’t see a men’s day being celebrated anywhere, then why the need for this women’s day? Does it make us more liberated? Does it give us any additional right? Does it give us the respect, the happiness, starting from our families, to our workplace to our friends?

Well, I don’t think so. I think, if we women really want to feel special, we can do so at any moment, rather than a full day being dedicated to it and making us a kind of minority. I believe it’s in the mind. That’s the main thing men are different from us women. They don’t let the things get into their head. They are practical people. And, pardon my saying, but, we women are emotional fools.

We can make a fool of ourselves by knocking our brains hard every time there’s a tiniest of argument that happens. We have made ourselves victims by doing these things. Even if life is peaceful, we add a little drama to a small out of control situation by following the 80-20 rule. Well, this rule, in a nutshell, means that out of the arguments that follow in a fight, only 20% of the arguments will be relevant to the current situation under discussion. The rest of 80% will be the dead remains of some killed arguments which had happened like decades ago.

Don’t get me wrong, being a woman myself, I am criticizing women. Let me tell you, the females reading this blog post, you are going to gain a lot of confidence out of this. I will not be all mushy mushy about women, how much we work, how much appreciation we should get, how many responsibilities we handle etc etc., but I’ll be straightforward about where we are wrong, and where we need to change to get at least fifty percent of the peace that our own mind has struggled to kill.

Somewhere we need to accept the fact that there can’t be a 50-50 rule to when it comes to taking care of the home, the children, taking care of the investments, and so on. So, its best to just face it. In many situations, women are the ones who will feel guilty, if the husbands leave for office without a lunchbox, if there is so much of mess in the house, and mainly, when it comes to feeding the kids like an army of soldiers got together. Trust me, men can’t go this overboard.

The best thing that we can expect is, not a complete role reversal, but respect and empathy about the tasks that we do all day. Regarding the appreciation part, yes, we are spoiled by our parents, but that doesn’t mean everyone on this earth will do the same. The ones who want to will always appreciate you. The others will ignore the appreciation part, and definitely will tell you about where you went wrong. So be it. Accept that fact and stop expecting anyone and everyone to be as appreciative as your parents. But ya, one thing is in your hands to feel good about yourself. Appreciating yourself, here the ball is in your own court. We are good at criticizing ourselves, but be this change. Appreciate yourself once in a while. Let the criticism be in the hands of those who are best at doing it. Learn to love yourself, learn to gift yourself, learn to say good things to yourself. Things have changed a lot from our grandmother’s times, now, its time for us to mould ourselves a little. Help is needed but I don’t think it will ever be 50-50.

Let’s change our perspectives a little. Let’s rethink about what we want. This women’s day, let’s pledge to stop being the victims of our own negative thoughts. Let’s embrace the situation with utmost positivity, and see life doing wonders.

Let’s be the change. Till then.

Adios Amigos

The better in – Better Half

I love this term curated for the spouses, “Better Half”. So, why exactly do you think the husbands/wives deserve this title? Well, here are my five cents on the same.

They know life is a journey that they need to travel together, so no matter what, they try their best to finish it together. At the end of the day, every couple has clashes, but knowing that resolving the clash is more important than their egos is what makes them better.

Compromises, compromises, compromises!! They know that this is one term that they should familiarize themselves with completely. The optimal situation is not one person compromising all the time, but rather, having a healthy talk about tackling the situation and then coming to a compromising conclusion, which can be in favor of any of them.

They work together as a team to build their home. There are hundreds of things that a man and woman need to take care of, in order to maintain a healthy and happy home. Finances, cooking, cleaning, job, kids etc, the list goes on. The important thing to consider here is not belittling anyone for the task he/she is doing. Accepting the fact that whatever both are doing, it’s for the betterment of their own home and family.

The better in the term “better half” is for the betterment of the other person. You are the better half if you are helping the other person emotionally, inspiring them to grow in life, helping them directly or indirectly achieve their dreams. After all, once you get married, your dreams are just not “your” dreams, they become “ours”.

Last, but not the least. Respect. The most important thing in a person to be called a better half is to respect the other. Respecting the person is important, but also, it is important to respect their time, work, choices and their priorities in life.

What are your thoughts on this term? Let me know in the comments below. Till then.

Adios amigos

Let go – The kid says

It is said that we can learn a lot of things about life from babies. If you observe a baby playing, you’ll notice that they are in a different world altogether. They get so engrossed in their toys or in the things they are doing, that they won’t get to know even if you sometimes poke them hard. They won’t budge till they finish their baby task at hand.

Again, if they get hurt while playing, they will cry for sometime, but as the pain starts subsiding, within minutes, you’ll see them get back to their own beautiful world. And, if they fight with their sibling or friend, they’ll be back playing with them within minutes. They don’t hold the pain or the anger for too long. That’s how they are, that’s how they function.

The important thing to learn from them here is, to let go. Let go of the hurt, the guilt, the anger, the drama, the grudges, let go of anything that destroys your peace of mind.

The kids are able to learn new things (apart from the fact that child’s learning ability is fastest between birth to five years of age) is because they are able to let go, and keep their sanity. This is what we lose as we grow up. While being a part of the rat race, we forget that we have to live, we have to be happy, but most of all, we have to maintain our sanity.

The little ones focus on the task at hand. And just work hard to finish off what they had started. With time, we lose that focus in life. Unknowingly, we start chasing rainbows and forget ourselves on the way. So, it is good to have a focus in life, a goal, a dream, something to look forward to, something to finish. This something, if defined, can take us away from the pain and sorrow, and give our life a definition.

So, stop the quest for unknown and be a kid once again. Till then.

Adios amigos

And she was born – Again!!

Red, the color, oh so beautiful. The color of love, but sometimes the color of danger too. And here she was, immersed in the same color, her beautiful red dress matching with the color spilled on the dress. Yes, it was the color of blood. Her car had just met with an accident.

She could not move her body, but her mind was fluctuating. Her gaze was fixed, but her whole life flashed through her mind. She wanted another chance, another chance from God, to fix certain things. She took a trip down the memory lane, recalling so many moments, some happy, some sad. Her mind went to deep sleep, for time undefined..

Few days later, she recovered from coma. She opened her eyes, her family in front. She smiled, thanked God. Her life changed forever, for good. Little things never mattered to her anymore. She knew what she wanted to do. Her life got a meaning.

She was born again..

Sometimes we learn to live again after dying a little!!

The ugly duckling – A short story

She was beautiful. At least that’s what her parents always told her. She did not have sharp features or great skin or lovely tresses that most of the girls she knew had. But she had an amazing smile, the one that made her look the prettiest despite all the flaws. But she hardly ever wore her smile with confidence.

She hated to even look at beauty magazines, since they were always filled with dozens of photographs of girls who were divinely gorgeous. The inferiority complex in her started growing with age. Time passed. She was a successful working woman. But, the complex still instilled in her. And it got stronger day by day.

With time, she became one of the most influential persons in her field. She became the face of many leading magazines. To her amazement, one of them was a beauty magazine, which published a gorgeous photo of her with her killer smile and listed her as one of the greatest women achievers of all times. Her definition of beauty changed forever. She became the beautiful swan from the ugly duckling she thought she was. But most importantly, she understood, that “Every woman is beautiful, in her own way”!!

Toner – The muted hero in skincare

When we talk about skincare routine in adults, we know how important it is to daily cleanse your skin at-least twice everyday, once in the morning and once at night. Hydrating the skin is also very important, with tons of options available in the form of face creams and moisturizers. Toning is the intermediate step in the skincare routine, but from my personal experience, and also seeing the daily skincare regimen of many friends and family members, I believe we generally don’t give this step the importance it deserves.

Well, now I believe that toning is the most important step of daily skincare regime. Out of the steps in the CTM (Cleansing, Toning, Moisturizing) routine, this is one step which I’ve ignored throughout my life. And the day I started following this step, there was never looking back.

Recently, there has been a lot of information shared on the internet about the benefits of Korean skincare. I got to know more about toning through the Korean skincare routine itself. Toning is one of the important rituals in their skincare routine. Koreans follow a ten step night-time skincare regime, which includes Oil Cleanser, Foam Cleanser, Exfoliating, Toner, Essence, Ampoule, Serum, Sheet Mask, Eye Cream and Moisturizer. I don’t follow the ten step process, as it is time-consuming and I get rather demotivated to follow such a long skincare routine every night, but, using the toner and letting it get soaked in the skin did do wonders to my skin.

With time, I’ve started seeing visible differences to the open pores in my skin. The pores have visibly reduced over time and have helped me in attaining a clearer skin. Also, adding a moisturizer with sunscreen in the daytime post the toning process hydrates the skin beautifully. It is very important to follow a proper skincare routine, especially at night time as it is said that the skin repairs itself the most when we sleep. So, it is best to not skip any step at night time.

Another product which I started using and have seen visibly striking results with is the Faceshop Aloe Vera Gel. I use this in the night-time skincare routine. After the toning process is done, I apply generous amount of Aloe Vera Gel, and wake up with a beautifully hydrated and most importantly, glassy skin in the morning. The skin looks really refreshed and glowing.

Here are the affiliate links to Korean skincare products (from the brand The Face Shop) that I use in the skincare regime every day and night:

Toner:
https://amzn.to/2GNbYuJ

Aloe Vera Gel:
https://amzn.to/2U9X0lC

Skincare is as important for us as taking care of the rest of the body is. So, 5-10 minutes is all we need to spend on it every day and night for a flawless looking gorgeous skin.

“Your skin is your best accessory. Take good care of it” –Unknown

Adios Amigos

R-E-A-C-T-I-O-N

Reaction, it’s just an eight letter word, but has the power to destroy big relationships, be it between people or be it between the strongest of nations.

It has become so common to see communication between people these days, where both the parties do not listen to understand, but rather, listen to react. Everyone has an opinion, and everyone wants to be heard.

Well, it’s good also, in the sense that everybody should be able to voice their opinion, but bad as well, because we fail to understand the fact that their is a perspective to every opinion. Both the parties could be correct based on their own perspective to a particular situation.

It is said that people from the older generations had better patience levels. But I think it was more about respecting each other’s viewpoints rather than the patience levels.

It has become very important for us to understand that for a successful and healthy relationship, it’s not that one person has to kill his/her viewpoint. But rather, it takes both the persons to listen to each other, to understand each other’s perspectives, and then decide to tackle the situation. And this holds true for any case, between friends, between husband and wife, family members, and even between parent and child (I believe even toddlers can have a strong and valid perspective in many cases).

If we react without thinking, then the same situation takes an ugly form, wherein a vicious circle of complaints starts from both the ends, which only leads to frustration and depression.

So, the next time any of you get to a point where you have a lot to say, well, instead of first trying to give your viewpoint, ask the other person about their perspective, then think and then reply. You will thank yourself for doing that!!

Adios amigos

Reflection: Down the memory lane

As she sat quietly, taking out each crayon, admiring the color and beautifully using it on her little canvas, creating her mini masterpiece, she forgot that she didn’t talk to me for almost an hour. Sitting beside the window, having soaked up the much needed Vitamin D of the day, my daughter made me fall in love with her again.

 

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I traveled back to the time when I was a little kid just like her, crazy about the subjects I loved the most, mathematics, science and drawing. Cursive writing was another thing that always fascinated me. I would forget about everything, hours altogether, just lost in my own beautiful world. Yes, some of us do enjoy being nerds I guess!!

There was a fire inside, to continue to be in the class toppers, year after year, giving my best in each n every exam. I saw the same fire inside her today. In a different form, in a different shape, but, the one which can take us places in life. It was the most beautiful moment for me as a mother.

It is really strange that the same fire, or rather the desire, keeps blurring within us with time. The desire which makes us run for the best, for the future which we want to have an amazing shape. As we grow old, we keep on killing it, yes, we are responsible for killing that day by day. It takes just a moment of realization to ignite it, and, we can actually move mountains again!!

Some moments are really precious in life, and this, this particular moment, is the one I’ll always remember. I found her, just like me, lost in her own world , with her canvas and her colors, creating another of her beautiful masterpieces. Some reflections are truly nostalgic.

Adios amigos

Let’s break the mold – Redefining gender roles

There are labels, that a society puts on us according to the gender. She’s a girl. She should know how to cook. He’s a boy. He has to find a good job to provide for his family.

Then there is another set of people who don’t believe in gender discrimination. “We’ve raised our daughter like a son. She can’t cook. So if we get her married, she will not cook. We have raised her to be a strong independent woman, capable of taking care of herself and her finances as well. So why should she be confined to the kitchen.” On the other hand, at the boys side, “we believe in gender equality. So, we want to marry our son to a professionally sound girl. But, she should not forget that she has to balance the professional and household responsibilities.”

In all the situations, we forget that the real issue is not who will cook or who will look after the house or who will earn for the family. The real question is why not anyone and everyone!!

Just the way we teach the kids all the basic subjects in school, like science, mathematics, languages etc, making them ready to take over the world, in the same way, the basic skill of Home Management also needs to be taught. And it has to be introduced at some level in our educational system. Once a child moves out, away from home, to pursue higher studies or to pursue a career, he/she should be capable enough to take care of himself/herself. Starting from how to keep his/her room or home tidy and organized, to cooking up a basic meal. These are the things that each n every person, whether boy or girl, should definitely know in life.

Gone are the days when a boy and girl had defined tasks or responsibilities, and also, gone are the days, when, on the name of gender equality, we raised daughters who were toppers in their schools and colleges, but struggled to always keep on striking a balance in life once they got married or had children. Their physical and mental health were affected due to the super women they were transformed into. We all know that the more frustrated the lady of the house becomes, the more issues are seen among the members of the entire family.

It is high time that we understand that we need a stronger base to be formed in our educational institutions (schools & colleges), teaching us the most important subject “Home management”, so that the future sons don’t get married to look for a maid or housekeeper and the future daughters don’t look for someone who just earns for the family. After all, there’s much more fun in cooking together as a family and also, earning together to build a home sweet home. It’s time to break the mold and give it an entire new definition!! Until then.

Adios Amigos