Do you procrastinate? I do!!

As per dictionary definition, procrastination is delaying or postponing something, something that requires some action from your side. As simple as that. To be shamelessly truthful, I do procrastinate, many a times, for many things. Call me lazy, but yes, some things require us to take an action in life, but we keep on postponing them, that we eventually forget about the particular activity or event. Sad but true.

Now, the question is why do we do that? I mean why do we become lazy about certain things in life, even though we know they are going to benefit us in near future or sometimes, maybe later in life. Why laziness for certain things? Well, it is difficult to explain, but it’s all about priorities. I think it is mostly because of the laziness in thinking about how this act will affect us in future. It’s really important to know the impact of procrastinating certain things, only then we will be able to stop this thirteen letter word to become a habit in life. We fail to think about the consequences that we may need to face if we keep on delaying things.

This can be easily explained with the help of following example. Daily fitness routine. This impacts the most important thing in life, health. A simple walk, run, exercise for half an hour to an hour is enough to keep us healthy. But, it is human nature to procrastinate. “I’ll do it tomorrow. Today doesn’t seem to be a good day.”, these are the exact words going on in the mind of a person who is trying to delay even a simple 30 minute workout. He/she is trying to persuade himself/herself in his/her head that postponing is alright, since I have tomorrow in my hand. There you go, the person lost 90% of the battle here. The remaining 10% will be lost, when the walk will again be postponed tomorrow because of some other reason. The importance of their own health has been reduced because of a mere single act of procrastination. And since this habit multiplies when used, people end up forgetting that it was for their own benefit, till they land themselves up in an emergency situation.

“Tomorrow never comes”, the phrase holds true to its definition. So, how do we actually stop this habit. Well, first of all, stop being a slave to the theory of tomorrow. Creating a plan for everything you do is definitely a solution, but, the most important and effective solution, in my opinion, is to train your brain. Talk to yourself in your head about the situation or task at hand that you are about to postpone. If it is really going to affect you in case you postpone it again the next day, then stop thinking and just go for it. Got for the walk, go for a run, call the friend, read the book, write that blog, do the damn thing. Don’t stop. Kill the lazy person sitting inside your head.

Well, I killed one today. As funny as it may sound, I had been procrastinating writing this blog on procrastination from few days. LOL!! And here I am, killing that daemon who tried to stop me or from doing it by persuading me every time to delay. These people sitting in your head telling you that it is ok to postpone or you can do it tomorrow, need to be told to SHUT UP. Try it once, its contagious, for all your tasks at hand. Slowly it will become a habit. Trust me, you won’t regret saying Shut Up to the lazy voice in your head. Till then.

Adios Amigos

Image courtesy: Pexels.com

How important is teaching self-worth to the kids?

“You are not good”!!, I said in a loud tone. “I am good”, she replies back, in an equally loud tone. “No, you are not good at all!!”, I screamed louder. “I am good”, she had the same tone. Well, this is a snippet of the conversation I had with my daughter. Yes, you heard it right. And no, I am not a bad mom. But, I am a mother who wants her child to always think positive about herself. So, I was playing a little lie game with my daughter. Before I could explain to her what she should reply in case someone says bad about her, she was already there with her answer. Honestly, I was impressed. I had to just tell her about the game I was playing with her and that she needs to be firm with the answer for anyone who ever says that to her. And yes, sometimes she doesn’t even need to reply back, she just needs to remember it.

Many of you might be thinking, why am I teaching this to my daughter at such an early age, she’s too young to understand these things (she’s four by the way). Yes, maybe she’s too young, but I feel that this is the age when they are at their smartest best. They can grasp things easily. Their brain is working at it’s peak. We want to teach them quite a lot at this age, specifically the basic educational skills, like numbers, alphabets, English, other languages, science etc. But, I feel that no matter how much intelligence or degrees we have, at the end of the day, what matters is the ability to see ourselves in a positive light. Feeling confident about who you are makes way for your own growth and success in life.

Consider a person who has been a topper in school and college life, but once he/she has to face the real world, be it job, be it relationships, if that person is vulnerable to negative comments by others, all his/her education does not do him/her any good. Whereas, a person who might be mediocre in studies, but has good faith in himself/herself, will definitely excel in whichever field he/she works in, and also that helps in maintaining good relationships in life.

Low self esteem is a disease. It works like cancer to kill the self confidence of a person to such a level from where it is very difficult to make a comeback. This can even lead to depression in many cases. Sounds freaking scary, right? Well, the good news is that we can inculcate this virtue in our kids at a young age. Their blank minds can be taught the value of self-love and self-worth. The future is unknown, but we, as parents, can sow this seed in their tiny brains.

Life is a journey where everyone meets people who tell them that they’re not good. Not beautiful, not good in academics, not good friends, parents, spouse or children, not doing a good job in office, well, the list is endless. The people who are vulnerable will easily accept what is negatively said about them. The mere words that others say multiply in their mind and they lose themselves all along, even though they are good enough. And then, there are others who hear those negative words, but always remember that they are worth it. The words that others say will not matter to them, no matter how many times those words are said. To be really successful in life, possessing such a virtue is a bliss. So, let’s teach our sons and daughters to always feel that “They’re worth it”. Till then.

Adios Amigos

Julie & Julia – Starting my journey

Julie & Julia. Yes, I am talking about the famous movie, starring the ever oh-so-charming star Meryl Streep and the gorgeous Amy Adams. The movie is the first motion picture based on a blog. The first time when I watched that movie, I just fell in love with it. The movie shows the life of two ladies, Julia Child and Julie Powell, from different generations. In a nutshell, in the movie, Julia Child is shown working her way through her culinary career and also as the author of cookbook titled “Mastering the art of French Cooking”. And Julie Powell is shown to be in awe of the recipes written in that book, and is in deep soulful connection with Julia Child. So she decides to write a blog about trying out recipes from Julia’s cookbook. The blog is titled “Julie & Julia: 365 Days, 524 Recipes, 1 Tiny Apartment Kitchen”. And in the end, she makes her way to cook those 524 recipes in 365 days.

Julia Child is shown to be a strong, quirky, and always high on life woman, who loves her husband deeply, and always moulds her life according to her husband’s job demands, moving to different cities, but still is always at her happiest best. Everywhere she goes, she finds something for herself to utilize her time. Her passion for cooking and the way she works in the kitchen is shown to be anything beyond perfection. She is the epitome of grace and poise. Julie Powell, on the other hand, is shown to have a life which she doesn’t like much, hates her 9 to 5 job, dreads the lunch dates with her snobbish friends. But, she loves her husband dearly. Above everything else, the main reason of happiness in her life is cooking.

I loved this dialogue from the movie. As Julie Powell stated, “You know what I love about cooking? I love that after a day when nothing is sure, and when I say ‘nothing’ I mean nothing! You can come home and absolutely know that if you add eggs yolks to chocolate and sugar and milk, it will get thick. It’s such a comfort.”

My dear friends, if you love cooking and blogging, do watch that movie if you already haven’t. I am sure you won’t regret. And those of you who have already watched, you know the masterpiece that I am talking about!!

I am writing this blog post not to review the movie in any more detail, but, I want to live what Julie Powell did in that special phase of her life as a blogger. It will not be exactly the way she did, but something similar. Her passion for cooking and writing made her start that blog. And that’s what my biggest passions are, cooking and writing.

I have already started my blogging journey. But from now on, I would love to include my love for cooking in the blogs as well. I am going to start “My Julie And Julia Project”. As Julie Powell described that she always loved timelines, so do I. With a kid at hand and multiple other responsibilities to juggle, I will be reasonable with myself and not go overboard with my timelines. I will be posting 100 recipes till the end of this year. But the Julia here will be myself, so basically this will be a kind of “Julie and Julie” blog. I will be posting the recipes that I am good at preparing. My journey will get started with my first recipe post soon!! Till then.

Adios Amigos

Happy Women’s Day??

Do we really need it? I don’t see a men’s day being celebrated anywhere, then why the need for this women’s day? Does it make us more liberated? Does it give us any additional right? Does it give us the respect, the happiness, starting from our families, to our workplace to our friends?

Well, I don’t think so. I think, if we women really want to feel special, we can do so at any moment, rather than a full day being dedicated to it and making us a kind of minority. I believe it’s in the mind. That’s the main thing men are different from us women. They don’t let the things get into their head. They are practical people. And, pardon my saying, but, we women are emotional fools.

We can make a fool of ourselves by knocking our brains hard every time there’s a tiniest of argument that happens. We have made ourselves victims by doing these things. Even if life is peaceful, we add a little drama to a small out of control situation by following the 80-20 rule. Well, this rule, in a nutshell, means that out of the arguments that follow in a fight, only 20% of the arguments will be relevant to the current situation under discussion. The rest of 80% will be the dead remains of some killed arguments which had happened like decades ago.

Don’t get me wrong, being a woman myself, I am criticizing women. Let me tell you, the females reading this blog post, you are going to gain a lot of confidence out of this. I will not be all mushy mushy about women, how much we work, how much appreciation we should get, how many responsibilities we handle etc etc., but I’ll be straightforward about where we are wrong, and where we need to change to get at least fifty percent of the peace that our own mind has struggled to kill.

Somewhere we need to accept the fact that there can’t be a 50-50 rule to when it comes to taking care of the home, the children, taking care of the investments, and so on. So, its best to just face it. In many situations, women are the ones who will feel guilty, if the husbands leave for office without a lunchbox, if there is so much of mess in the house, and mainly, when it comes to feeding the kids like an army of soldiers got together. Trust me, men can’t go this overboard.

The best thing that we can expect is, not a complete role reversal, but respect and empathy about the tasks that we do all day. Regarding the appreciation part, yes, we are spoiled by our parents, but that doesn’t mean everyone on this earth will do the same. The ones who want to will always appreciate you. The others will ignore the appreciation part, and definitely will tell you about where you went wrong. So be it. Accept that fact and stop expecting anyone and everyone to be as appreciative as your parents. But ya, one thing is in your hands to feel good about yourself. Appreciating yourself, here the ball is in your own court. We are good at criticizing ourselves, but be this change. Appreciate yourself once in a while. Let the criticism be in the hands of those who are best at doing it. Learn to love yourself, learn to gift yourself, learn to say good things to yourself. Things have changed a lot from our grandmother’s times, now, its time for us to mould ourselves a little. Help is needed but I don’t think it will ever be 50-50.

Let’s change our perspectives a little. Let’s rethink about what we want. This women’s day, let’s pledge to stop being the victims of our own negative thoughts. Let’s embrace the situation with utmost positivity, and see life doing wonders.

Let’s be the change. Till then.

Adios Amigos

The better in – Better Half

I love this term curated for the spouses, “Better Half”. So, why exactly do you think the husbands/wives deserve this title? Well, here are my five cents on the same.

They know life is a journey that they need to travel together, so no matter what, they try their best to finish it together. At the end of the day, every couple has clashes, but knowing that resolving the clash is more important than their egos is what makes them better.

Compromises, compromises, compromises!! They know that this is one term that they should familiarize themselves with completely. The optimal situation is not one person compromising all the time, but rather, having a healthy talk about tackling the situation and then coming to a compromising conclusion, which can be in favor of any of them.

They work together as a team to build their home. There are hundreds of things that a man and woman need to take care of, in order to maintain a healthy and happy home. Finances, cooking, cleaning, job, kids etc, the list goes on. The important thing to consider here is not belittling anyone for the task he/she is doing. Accepting the fact that whatever both are doing, it’s for the betterment of their own home and family.

The better in the term “better half” is for the betterment of the other person. You are the better half if you are helping the other person emotionally, inspiring them to grow in life, helping them directly or indirectly achieve their dreams. After all, once you get married, your dreams are just not “your” dreams, they become “ours”.

Last, but not the least. Respect. The most important thing in a person to be called a better half is to respect the other. Respecting the person is important, but also, it is important to respect their time, work, choices and their priorities in life.

What are your thoughts on this term? Let me know in the comments below. Till then.

Adios amigos

R-E-A-C-T-I-O-N

Reaction, it’s just an eight letter word, but has the power to destroy big relationships, be it between people or be it between the strongest of nations.

It has become so common to see communication between people these days, where both the parties do not listen to understand, but rather, listen to react. Everyone has an opinion, and everyone wants to be heard.

Well, it’s good also, in the sense that everybody should be able to voice their opinion, but bad as well, because we fail to understand the fact that their is a perspective to every opinion. Both the parties could be correct based on their own perspective to a particular situation.

It is said that people from the older generations had better patience levels. But I think it was more about respecting each other’s viewpoints rather than the patience levels.

It has become very important for us to understand that for a successful and healthy relationship, it’s not that one person has to kill his/her viewpoint. But rather, it takes both the persons to listen to each other, to understand each other’s perspectives, and then decide to tackle the situation. And this holds true for any case, between friends, between husband and wife, family members, and even between parent and child (I believe even toddlers can have a strong and valid perspective in many cases).

If we react without thinking, then the same situation takes an ugly form, wherein a vicious circle of complaints starts from both the ends, which only leads to frustration and depression.

So, the next time any of you get to a point where you have a lot to say, well, instead of first trying to give your viewpoint, ask the other person about their perspective, then think and then reply. You will thank yourself for doing that!!

Adios amigos

Let’s break the mold – Redefining gender roles

There are labels, that a society puts on us according to the gender. She’s a girl. She should know how to cook. He’s a boy. He has to find a good job to provide for his family.

Then there is another set of people who don’t believe in gender discrimination. “We’ve raised our daughter like a son. She can’t cook. So if we get her married, she will not cook. We have raised her to be a strong independent woman, capable of taking care of herself and her finances as well. So why should she be confined to the kitchen.” On the other hand, at the boys side, “we believe in gender equality. So, we want to marry our son to a professionally sound girl. But, she should not forget that she has to balance the professional and household responsibilities.”

In all the situations, we forget that the real issue is not who will cook or who will look after the house or who will earn for the family. The real question is why not anyone and everyone!!

Just the way we teach the kids all the basic subjects in school, like science, mathematics, languages etc, making them ready to take over the world, in the same way, the basic skill of Home Management also needs to be taught. And it has to be introduced at some level in our educational system. Once a child moves out, away from home, to pursue higher studies or to pursue a career, he/she should be capable enough to take care of himself/herself. Starting from how to keep his/her room or home tidy and organized, to cooking up a basic meal. These are the things that each n every person, whether boy or girl, should definitely know in life.

Gone are the days when a boy and girl had defined tasks or responsibilities, and also, gone are the days, when, on the name of gender equality, we raised daughters who were toppers in their schools and colleges, but struggled to always keep on striking a balance in life once they got married or had children. Their physical and mental health were affected due to the super women they were transformed into. We all know that the more frustrated the lady of the house becomes, the more issues are seen among the members of the entire family.

It is high time that we understand that we need a stronger base to be formed in our educational institutions (schools & colleges), teaching us the most important subject “Home management”, so that the future sons don’t get married to look for a maid or housekeeper and the future daughters don’t look for someone who just earns for the family. After all, there’s much more fun in cooking together as a family and also, earning together to build a home sweet home. It’s time to break the mold and give it an entire new definition!! Until then.

Adios Amigos

New Year Resolution 2019

 

It’s the time of the year once again when everyone is posting about their new year resolutions. And it made me think hard about what mine should be. Well, I was ready with a long list, but then I realized there are lists that are made every year, which are also forgotten by the end of the year. Then again a new list is made, and the cycle continues. So what’s the whole point of new year resolutions?

If I think deeply, the list is almost always the same for many people every year (for example, losing weight, regular exercise, yoga, pursuing a hobby, eating healthy etc etc etc). But if we notice carefully, there is only one missing link here. That missing link is ROUTINE. We all set goals, but don’t stick to those goals.

The funny thing is that we give up on them one by one, and we don’t even realize when that happened. So, that explains the importance of the fact that sticking to a routine is what matters.

And that’s how my New Year’s resolution got its form this year. Sticking to my routine, not giving up on my goals. Be it fitness, be it skincare, be it blogging or be it healthy eating. Yes, there can be few misses here and there, but what matters the most is coming back fast. Happy New Year to all the beautiful people. Till then.

Adios Amigos

Father – The unsung hero

 

Fathers, unlike mothers, are the unsung heroes to their children. They stand through the thick and thin, without anyone knowing that they are doing a lot in the background. A father and a daughter especially share a beautiful relationship.

A relationship beyond words. A relationship beyond time. He treats her like a princess, yet makes her a warrior too. He helps her build a castle, yet makes her capable of building one herself too. He protects her from bad men, yet gives her the freedom to choose too. He reads her fairy-tales, yet wants her to be the knight in shining armor herself. He wants her to fall in love, but also wants her to get back to life if she gets heartbroken.

He is her first hero, her first love. The father is the person she looks up to on how a lady should be treated. If her nurtures his wife with love, love is what is seen throughout the family. His relationship with his wife, if beautiful, paves the way for the daughter to have positive outlook on relationships.

No matter what happens in life, the daughter will always have a special place in her father’s heart ♥️

A bond, oh so special, oh so beautiful!! A bond of lifetime. The light shining between them, is the light that keeps me alive.