How important is teaching self-worth to the kids?

“You are not good”!!, I said in a loud tone. “I am good”, she replies back, in an equally loud tone. “No, you are not good at all!!”, I screamed louder. “I am good”, she had the same tone. Well, this is a snippet of the conversation I had with my daughter. Yes, you heard it right. And no, I am not a bad mom. But, I am a mother who wants her child to always think positive about herself. So, I was playing a little lie game with my daughter. Before I could explain to her what she should reply in case someone says bad about her, she was already there with her answer. Honestly, I was impressed. I had to just tell her about the game I was playing with her and that she needs to be firm with the answer for anyone who ever says that to her. And yes, sometimes she doesn’t even need to reply back, she just needs to remember it.

Many of you might be thinking, why am I teaching this to my daughter at such an early age, she’s too young to understand these things (she’s four by the way). Yes, maybe she’s too young, but I feel that this is the age when they are at their smartest best. They can grasp things easily. Their brain is working at it’s peak. We want to teach them quite a lot at this age, specifically the basic educational skills, like numbers, alphabets, English, other languages, science etc. But, I feel that no matter how much intelligence or degrees we have, at the end of the day, what matters is the ability to see ourselves in a positive light. Feeling confident about who you are makes way for your own growth and success in life.

Consider a person who has been a topper in school and college life, but once he/she has to face the real world, be it job, be it relationships, if that person is vulnerable to negative comments by others, all his/her education does not do him/her any good. Whereas, a person who might be mediocre in studies, but has good faith in himself/herself, will definitely excel in whichever field he/she works in, and also that helps in maintaining good relationships in life.

Low self esteem is a disease. It works like cancer to kill the self confidence of a person to such a level from where it is very difficult to make a comeback. This can even lead to depression in many cases. Sounds freaking scary, right? Well, the good news is that we can inculcate this virtue in our kids at a young age. Their blank minds can be taught the value of self-love and self-worth. The future is unknown, but we, as parents, can sow this seed in their tiny brains.

Life is a journey where everyone meets people who tell them that they’re not good. Not beautiful, not good in academics, not good friends, parents, spouse or children, not doing a good job in office, well, the list is endless. The people who are vulnerable will easily accept what is negatively said about them. The mere words that others say multiply in their mind and they lose themselves all along, even though they are good enough. And then, there are others who hear those negative words, but always remember that they are worth it. The words that others say will not matter to them, no matter how many times those words are said. To be really successful in life, possessing such a virtue is a bliss. So, let’s teach our sons and daughters to always feel that “They’re worth it”. Till then.

Adios Amigos

Perks of being a Stay-At-Home-Mom

Working mother or SAHM (Stay-At-Home-Mother)? Been there, done that!! The debate around this is endless. Each of these roles comes with its own set of advantages and guilts. I have been able to live through both. And trust me, it doesn’t matter whether you are a working mom or a SAHM, there are going to be different sets of crazy plus points and of course, different kinds of challenges and guilts that we go through. So, its best to stick to what works for you the best at the moment.

I had always been a very sincere student since my childhood, and I was raised to be a strong and independent woman, including the financial independence. I had always loved my job as a software engineer, but after Myra was born, balancing both the roles had become a roller-coaster ride for me. So, I decided to take a break and give a stability to one role. I have huge respect for the ladies who can balance both the roles perfectly. Even though I have a very supportive partner, I went ahead with the decision of taking things at a lighter pace for me. Now that my daughter is all set to start her school, I am looking forward to become a working mother once again. Since I’ve been a Stay-At-Home-Mom for the last three years, I thought of highlighting some perks that I enjoyed of being one. So, here are some of those that I have lived and loved.

What, you had some hobbies, mother??

Well, this is the time that you can blissfully ponder over what you liked doing the most while growing up. And by growing up, I mean when the mind was free to wander, when you wanted to try new things, when there was no 9 to 6 life, when the little thing you built made you happier than you could ever imagine. Well, yes, I am talking about that time, the beautiful time of childhood. I had loved to write. Writing was in my blood. But that time, it was all diaries, notebooks, letters, in short, “hand-writing”. It was stopped years back, once the full-time job got started, or may be even before that, when the actual run for career was started in college. But TADA, here I am now, writing religiously for my blog, enjoying each n every moment when I write. And it’s the same for cooking. I never cooked in my entire life as a student. I started learning to cook after my marriage, and that learning process sped up after my little one was born. And little did I know, that of all the things in life, cooking will be the one that I will fall in love with. It is therapeutic for me, cooking calms me down and makes me happy. So, here I am working on my blog, creating new recipes for my loved ones, and gearing up for the future recipe blog posts. And all this came with advantage, that I can earn money through my blog. What better than this? So, go for it ladies, those who decide to be Stay-At-Home-Moms, put aside your guilt pangs of giving a break to your career, and utilize that time to pursue your interests, and, if you can, then blog about it.

Let’s go out for lunch, mom!!

There are lots of times, that me and my daughter head to the local pizzeria to have lunch dates. Then we rush off to the local grocery store to do some random, but limited to a specific budget, shopping!! Being girls, we enjoy shopping like anything. Shopping is a therapy, be it for a simple candy (for my daughter) or a small kitchen tool (I love investing in different kitchen tools), we both love doing that. Apart from that, we love dropping in to the local library, and read for hours and hours altogether. I know all these things are possible even for a working mother, but I love the random part here. You just go whenever you or your kid feels like going sometimes.

The never ending hugs and kisses in the morning

Mornings are a bliss everyday. Waking her up is more of a long and lovely plethora of cuddles, lots and lots of hugs and kisses than anything else. Once she would start her school and I am back to pursuing my career, this will shrug to a small time of cuddles, and more of a rush rush to get ready. But till that time, I just want it to be a never ending affair.

The elaborate breakfasts

Since breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and you and your little one have the time in your hands, you can work on creating this time as healthy and nutritious as possible for them. Starting with a serving of fruits, to a more filling entree, followed by milk or yogurt ensures that they get the best possible nutrients. My daughter even loves watching me cook for her, and wants to give her ideas about what things to add in a particular dish, or how to serve a particular dish in an oh-so-charming way. The hearts and other shape cutters have always been to my rescue when she sometimes used to be fussy about something she didn’t like the taste of. But the simple cookie cutters have always been there to my rescue. These things take time, if need to be done on a day-to-day basis, but that’s the perk that a Stay-At-Home-Mom has.

Few months down the line, she will be in her school, and I will be back to being a working mom once again. But, the time spent with her at home will always be special and priceless.

Whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mom, I think the responsibilities in both cases are endless. And it is very important to support the decision that a woman takes. Every mom has a story, and judging her is the worst one can do. I salute each n every mother out there, who is working hard for her children and family. Cheers to all the super moms, since, every mom is a super mom. Till then.

Adios Amigos

Let go – The kid says

It is said that we can learn a lot of things about life from babies. If you observe a baby playing, you’ll notice that they are in a different world altogether. They get so engrossed in their toys or in the things they are doing, that they won’t get to know even if you sometimes poke them hard. They won’t budge till they finish their baby task at hand.

Again, if they get hurt while playing, they will cry for sometime, but as the pain starts subsiding, within minutes, you’ll see them get back to their own beautiful world. And, if they fight with their sibling or friend, they’ll be back playing with them within minutes. They don’t hold the pain or the anger for too long. That’s how they are, that’s how they function.

The important thing to learn from them here is, to let go. Let go of the hurt, the guilt, the anger, the drama, the grudges, let go of anything that destroys your peace of mind.

The kids are able to learn new things (apart from the fact that child’s learning ability is fastest between birth to five years of age) is because they are able to let go, and keep their sanity. This is what we lose as we grow up. While being a part of the rat race, we forget that we have to live, we have to be happy, but most of all, we have to maintain our sanity.

The little ones focus on the task at hand. And just work hard to finish off what they had started. With time, we lose that focus in life. Unknowingly, we start chasing rainbows and forget ourselves on the way. So, it is good to have a focus in life, a goal, a dream, something to look forward to, something to finish. This something, if defined, can take us away from the pain and sorrow, and give our life a definition.

So, stop the quest for unknown and be a kid once again. Till then.

Adios amigos

Reflection: Down the memory lane

As she sat quietly, taking out each crayon, admiring the color and beautifully using it on her little canvas, creating her mini masterpiece, she forgot that she didn’t talk to me for almost an hour. Sitting beside the window, having soaked up the much needed Vitamin D of the day, my daughter made me fall in love with her again.

 

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I traveled back to the time when I was a little kid just like her, crazy about the subjects I loved the most, mathematics, science and drawing. Cursive writing was another thing that always fascinated me. I would forget about everything, hours altogether, just lost in my own beautiful world. Yes, some of us do enjoy being nerds I guess!!

There was a fire inside, to continue to be in the class toppers, year after year, giving my best in each n every exam. I saw the same fire inside her today. In a different form, in a different shape, but, the one which can take us places in life. It was the most beautiful moment for me as a mother.

It is really strange that the same fire, or rather the desire, keeps blurring within us with time. The desire which makes us run for the best, for the future which we want to have an amazing shape. As we grow old, we keep on killing it, yes, we are responsible for killing that day by day. It takes just a moment of realization to ignite it, and, we can actually move mountains again!!

Some moments are really precious in life, and this, this particular moment, is the one I’ll always remember. I found her, just like me, lost in her own world , with her canvas and her colors, creating another of her beautiful masterpieces. Some reflections are truly nostalgic.

Adios amigos

Father – The unsung hero

 

Fathers, unlike mothers, are the unsung heroes to their children. They stand through the thick and thin, without anyone knowing that they are doing a lot in the background. A father and a daughter especially share a beautiful relationship.

A relationship beyond words. A relationship beyond time. He treats her like a princess, yet makes her a warrior too. He helps her build a castle, yet makes her capable of building one herself too. He protects her from bad men, yet gives her the freedom to choose too. He reads her fairy-tales, yet wants her to be the knight in shining armor herself. He wants her to fall in love, but also wants her to get back to life if she gets heartbroken.

He is her first hero, her first love. The father is the person she looks up to on how a lady should be treated. If her nurtures his wife with love, love is what is seen throughout the family. His relationship with his wife, if beautiful, paves the way for the daughter to have positive outlook on relationships.

No matter what happens in life, the daughter will always have a special place in her father’s heart ♥️

A bond, oh so special, oh so beautiful!! A bond of lifetime. The light shining between them, is the light that keeps me alive.

The puzzle

There are so many milestones that we, as parents, keep on waiting for, for our kids. The first word, the first walk, the first tooth etc. But this was one of those that I was not waiting for, rather it just happened, and made me realize, “Oh, another of her milestones!!”

Myra loves to play with puzzles. The ones that are the easiest to play are her favorites. She spends hours in library fixing the numerous puzzle games for kids there. So, we brought her some at home as well. She was able to solve many of them. But few which she found complicated, she wouldn’t even try. Well, but a game is a game. And when the kids want to play, they will play it, no matter how. So, she found her momma to her rescue for those puzzles.

Until one day, when she chooses to do it herself. Since mamma needed her time to cook biryani, the baby doll decided she wanted to try the complex puzzle.

An hour passed by, it was silence from her side. Another half an hour passed silently, and finally there was a loud shout, “I did it!!”.. I rushed towards her thinking what on the earth happened. And to my surprise, the puzzle was complete.

Well, it was just a game that she played. But for me, this was something she tried, which she never wanted to do till that time. I was really feeling proud of her, but it also made me realize that she’s growing up. And there will be many such phases or incidents which will happen in future, which might not count as milestones for some people, but for a mother, they are some of the biggest ones.

I really want to tell Myra that no matter what happens in life, never ever give up. Also, failing is not losing, you lose when you never try. So, keep trying the puzzles, keep connecting the dots, keep learning in life. Just like you did now!!

Do you also have any such milestone(s) to share about your kid(s)? Please mention in comments and let us know!!

Adios amigos!!

A day in a park

Its that time of the day again!! To get going to the park. That’s like the favorite activity for my daughter. Public parks are such an amazing recreational facilities provided to us that we should always make an effort to utilize them for the growth and development of our kids and also a tool to be used for our fitness (such as for running, jogging, yoga or even playing outdoor games like badminton, basketball etc.).

Well, I see my daughter growing in that park day by day. It amazes me to see how at first she was so reluctant to try even the easiest of kids slides. And now, she easily roams around the park crossing the difficult hurdles, climbing the ropes, going zig-zag on the big slides, crawling through the mini tunnels.

I think it’s really important to give the kids such an environment to grow, not only for their physical development and well-being, but to give them a sense of fulfillment. It can be in terms of completing a hurdle or learning to grow out of their fears by watching other kids trying something that they are reluctant to do.

These days when kids are spending more and more time in front of screens, their tiny hands going over the keys at a lightening speed, we need to make sure that we give them an environment where they can spend hours without thinking about hurting their eyes or brains going dull. I think parks are an amazing place for them to make new friends and explore themselves.

Environmental cleanliness is another thing that I teach my daughter when she is in the park. She knows that it’s really important to keep it clean in order to have a pleasant experience the next time she is in the park. Please check my YouTube video on a day to the park. The video itself will speak on the importance of taking kids to the park and seeing them in a beautiful world altogether !!

Do you take your kids to any nearby park(s) too? Do share your thoughts.

Adios amigos !!