Stop living in your Head!!

Has it ever occurred to you that more than half of the thoughts that you are processing in your mind are fiction, just pure plain fiction? Sounds strange, but it’s true. Our mind is capable of creating stories and melodramas which have never occurred in real life. There are numerous hours in a day, wherein, if you don’t train your mind to get occupied in things that actually matter in life, it will start creating a web of thoughts which have no meaning, and may never actually be true in real life.

I call this thing, “The little birdy”. The little birdy is constantly on a move in our head, waiting for the moment when we can fuel it up, giving it the fruit of life, after which, it becomes unstoppable, until it is strongly forced to disconnect.

In our day to day lives, there are numerous things, people, incidents which have a deep impact on our minds. If we get disturbed by someone’s words or actions, and later when we think about what had happened, the little birdy comes into action. We think about what else that person might be thinking or saying about us, and there are different clips that start playing in our head, and yes, I am talking about visual clips. We start enacting in our heads, mostly as victims, and we try to visualize the other person as someone who he/she may not be in real life. This makes us susceptible to always look down upon the other person.

Negative thoughts don’t need much to multiply in our mind. A little fuel goes a long way. I have seen an important quality in successful people. They don’t fuel negative thoughts, or if I may say so, they don’t fuel negative people as well. Because at the end of the day, both are a waste of time. Negative thoughts is what we create in our mind by feeding the birdy, and negative people can be made to spread their thoughts by telling them that they are wrong. Try to talk to a pessimistic person, and you will understand what I am saying. They can drown you into the sea of hopeless talks, and sometimes, it is difficult to even prove them wrong because they are self obsessed with their own ideas and understanding. You might actually end up looking like a fool in front of them. So, keep safe distance from such people, and don’t fiddle with their minds.

The best way to avoid having the useless thoughts is to keep ourselves busy. The tasks at hand keep us occupied, and the free time can be utilized in pursuing our hobbies. There are millions of things to do if one wants to, like, read a book, go to the park, go for a run, write an article, climb that damn mountain. But definitely, there are times when all we want to do is introspect. So the negative and useless thoughts are bound to come, we just need to let them pass, and think about better things.

The important thing to understand and be successful in life is to take life as it comes. Whatever happened has happened, lets learn from each negative incident, and be happy about the positives in our life. Let’s not give fuel to useless thoughts, let’s not feed the little birdy in our head. The world will be a better place then. If not for everyone, but for you, definitely!! Till then.

Adios Amigos

How important is teaching self-worth to the kids?

“You are not good”!!, I said in a loud tone. “I am good”, she replies back, in an equally loud tone. “No, you are not good at all!!”, I screamed louder. “I am good”, she had the same tone. Well, this is a snippet of the conversation I had with my daughter. Yes, you heard it right. And no, I am not a bad mom. But, I am a mother who wants her child to always think positive about herself. So, I was playing a little lie game with my daughter. Before I could explain to her what she should reply in case someone says bad about her, she was already there with her answer. Honestly, I was impressed. I had to just tell her about the game I was playing with her and that she needs to be firm with the answer for anyone who ever says that to her. And yes, sometimes she doesn’t even need to reply back, she just needs to remember it.

Many of you might be thinking, why am I teaching this to my daughter at such an early age, she’s too young to understand these things (she’s four by the way). Yes, maybe she’s too young, but I feel that this is the age when they are at their smartest best. They can grasp things easily. Their brain is working at it’s peak. We want to teach them quite a lot at this age, specifically the basic educational skills, like numbers, alphabets, English, other languages, science etc. But, I feel that no matter how much intelligence or degrees we have, at the end of the day, what matters is the ability to see ourselves in a positive light. Feeling confident about who you are makes way for your own growth and success in life.

Consider a person who has been a topper in school and college life, but once he/she has to face the real world, be it job, be it relationships, if that person is vulnerable to negative comments by others, all his/her education does not do him/her any good. Whereas, a person who might be mediocre in studies, but has good faith in himself/herself, will definitely excel in whichever field he/she works in, and also that helps in maintaining good relationships in life.

Low self esteem is a disease. It works like cancer to kill the self confidence of a person to such a level from where it is very difficult to make a comeback. This can even lead to depression in many cases. Sounds freaking scary, right? Well, the good news is that we can inculcate this virtue in our kids at a young age. Their blank minds can be taught the value of self-love and self-worth. The future is unknown, but we, as parents, can sow this seed in their tiny brains.

Life is a journey where everyone meets people who tell them that they’re not good. Not beautiful, not good in academics, not good friends, parents, spouse or children, not doing a good job in office, well, the list is endless. The people who are vulnerable will easily accept what is negatively said about them. The mere words that others say multiply in their mind and they lose themselves all along, even though they are good enough. And then, there are others who hear those negative words, but always remember that they are worth it. The words that others say will not matter to them, no matter how many times those words are said. To be really successful in life, possessing such a virtue is a bliss. So, let’s teach our sons and daughters to always feel that “They’re worth it”. Till then.

Adios Amigos