How important is teaching self-worth to the kids?

“You are not good”!!, I said in a loud tone. “I am good”, she replies back, in an equally loud tone. “No, you are not good at all!!”, I screamed louder. “I am good”, she had the same tone. Well, this is a snippet of the conversation I had with my daughter. Yes, you heard it right. And no, I am not a bad mom. But, I am a mother who wants her child to always think positive about herself. So, I was playing a little lie game with my daughter. Before I could explain to her what she should reply in case someone says bad about her, she was already there with her answer. Honestly, I was impressed. I had to just tell her about the game I was playing with her and that she needs to be firm with the answer for anyone who ever says that to her. And yes, sometimes she doesn’t even need to reply back, she just needs to remember it.

Many of you might be thinking, why am I teaching this to my daughter at such an early age, she’s too young to understand these things (she’s four by the way). Yes, maybe she’s too young, but I feel that this is the age when they are at their smartest best. They can grasp things easily. Their brain is working at it’s peak. We want to teach them quite a lot at this age, specifically the basic educational skills, like numbers, alphabets, English, other languages, science etc. But, I feel that no matter how much intelligence or degrees we have, at the end of the day, what matters is the ability to see ourselves in a positive light. Feeling confident about who you are makes way for your own growth and success in life.

Consider a person who has been a topper in school and college life, but once he/she has to face the real world, be it job, be it relationships, if that person is vulnerable to negative comments by others, all his/her education does not do him/her any good. Whereas, a person who might be mediocre in studies, but has good faith in himself/herself, will definitely excel in whichever field he/she works in, and also that helps in maintaining good relationships in life.

Low self esteem is a disease. It works like cancer to kill the self confidence of a person to such a level from where it is very difficult to make a comeback. This can even lead to depression in many cases. Sounds freaking scary, right? Well, the good news is that we can inculcate this virtue in our kids at a young age. Their blank minds can be taught the value of self-love and self-worth. The future is unknown, but we, as parents, can sow this seed in their tiny brains.

Life is a journey where everyone meets people who tell them that they’re not good. Not beautiful, not good in academics, not good friends, parents, spouse or children, not doing a good job in office, well, the list is endless. The people who are vulnerable will easily accept what is negatively said about them. The mere words that others say multiply in their mind and they lose themselves all along, even though they are good enough. And then, there are others who hear those negative words, but always remember that they are worth it. The words that others say will not matter to them, no matter how many times those words are said. To be really successful in life, possessing such a virtue is a bliss. So, let’s teach our sons and daughters to always feel that “They’re worth it”. Till then.

Adios Amigos

Happy Women’s Day??

Do we really need it? I don’t see a men’s day being celebrated anywhere, then why the need for this women’s day? Does it make us more liberated? Does it give us any additional right? Does it give us the respect, the happiness, starting from our families, to our workplace to our friends?

Well, I don’t think so. I think, if we women really want to feel special, we can do so at any moment, rather than a full day being dedicated to it and making us a kind of minority. I believe it’s in the mind. That’s the main thing men are different from us women. They don’t let the things get into their head. They are practical people. And, pardon my saying, but, we women are emotional fools.

We can make a fool of ourselves by knocking our brains hard every time there’s a tiniest of argument that happens. We have made ourselves victims by doing these things. Even if life is peaceful, we add a little drama to a small out of control situation by following the 80-20 rule. Well, this rule, in a nutshell, means that out of the arguments that follow in a fight, only 20% of the arguments will be relevant to the current situation under discussion. The rest of 80% will be the dead remains of some killed arguments which had happened like decades ago.

Don’t get me wrong, being a woman myself, I am criticizing women. Let me tell you, the females reading this blog post, you are going to gain a lot of confidence out of this. I will not be all mushy mushy about women, how much we work, how much appreciation we should get, how many responsibilities we handle etc etc., but I’ll be straightforward about where we are wrong, and where we need to change to get at least fifty percent of the peace that our own mind has struggled to kill.

Somewhere we need to accept the fact that there can’t be a 50-50 rule to when it comes to taking care of the home, the children, taking care of the investments, and so on. So, its best to just face it. In many situations, women are the ones who will feel guilty, if the husbands leave for office without a lunchbox, if there is so much of mess in the house, and mainly, when it comes to feeding the kids like an army of soldiers got together. Trust me, men can’t go this overboard.

The best thing that we can expect is, not a complete role reversal, but respect and empathy about the tasks that we do all day. Regarding the appreciation part, yes, we are spoiled by our parents, but that doesn’t mean everyone on this earth will do the same. The ones who want to will always appreciate you. The others will ignore the appreciation part, and definitely will tell you about where you went wrong. So be it. Accept that fact and stop expecting anyone and everyone to be as appreciative as your parents. But ya, one thing is in your hands to feel good about yourself. Appreciating yourself, here the ball is in your own court. We are good at criticizing ourselves, but be this change. Appreciate yourself once in a while. Let the criticism be in the hands of those who are best at doing it. Learn to love yourself, learn to gift yourself, learn to say good things to yourself. Things have changed a lot from our grandmother’s times, now, its time for us to mould ourselves a little. Help is needed but I don’t think it will ever be 50-50.

Let’s change our perspectives a little. Let’s rethink about what we want. This women’s day, let’s pledge to stop being the victims of our own negative thoughts. Let’s embrace the situation with utmost positivity, and see life doing wonders.

Let’s be the change. Till then.

Adios Amigos

The ugly duckling – A short story

She was beautiful. At least that’s what her parents always told her. She did not have sharp features or great skin or lovely tresses that most of the girls she knew had. But she had an amazing smile, the one that made her look the prettiest despite all the flaws. But she hardly ever wore her smile with confidence.

She hated to even look at beauty magazines, since they were always filled with dozens of photographs of girls who were divinely gorgeous. The inferiority complex in her started growing with age. Time passed. She was a successful working woman. But, the complex still instilled in her. And it got stronger day by day.

With time, she became one of the most influential persons in her field. She became the face of many leading magazines. To her amazement, one of them was a beauty magazine, which published a gorgeous photo of her with her killer smile and listed her as one of the greatest women achievers of all times. Her definition of beauty changed forever. She became the beautiful swan from the ugly duckling she thought she was. But most importantly, she understood, that “Every woman is beautiful, in her own way”!!

Live Laugh Love – The Essence

Dear Readers,

Welcome to my first blog post. I am really happy to be starting this blog today and hope this journey continues a long way ahead. Live, laugh, love. That’s what we all want right !! Well, the future blog posts might not be specific to me telling you stories that revolve around these three words. They will mostly be around various topics related to food, parenting, home, organization, etc etc. But this post will cover the reason of choosing the name of this blog. Let me spend few words on each one of them.

LIVE
Well, the literary meaning of the word “Live” means to live life, as in to breathe and have physical existence. But here, in this context, it means living a life that you can call your own. But how do we do that? Does it mean we are able to do whatever we want? Or does it mean spending the day doing some things that add value to you in terms of soul fulfillment. For me, it is latter. We all know that having a perfect life is a complete misnomer. There is no such thing called “Living perfectly”. There will be ups and downs, you will have to live in a certain way where you may need to do some compromises. But, at the end of the day, all that matters is that you get to spend some hours doing what you love.

As the saying goes, “If you don’t plan your life, someone else will”.

So, have a goal. Be it big, be it small. But keep at least an hour or more in a day with you where you can do what makes your soul happy. For me, it is either cooking or writing, and may be few other things. So, keep in mind, you can’t have it all. But, you can set some targets which are achievable and add to your (soulful) living.

LAUGH
Have you ever seen a child’s laughter? I’ve heard this sentence a zillion of times. And I always wondered, yes, of course, I’ve heard a child laughing!! What’s new in that? Well, now that I have a daughter of my own, I understand that witnessing a child’s laughter is the most therapeutic. They are such innocent creatures that they get amazed by the simple things in life. Be it the sound of water when you shake a water bottle, be it an idiotic face you make, or be it some funny sound. They can laugh endlessly at the same thing for the longest of times.

But what happens when we grow up? Endlessly searching for things that make us upset. Thinking and talking about things that go bad in our life. And so on. Well, I think then it’s time for us to make efforts the other way round. Lets search for things, or incidences that would make us happy and grateful in life. Let’s crack a joke, or watch a funny movie. If something is troubling us in life, or the day went bad, let’s not give it the right to control our emotions. Be wary of such feelings, and start thinking about the good things in life. These things are difficult to do at first. But, once mastered, they will play a big role in a person’s success. So, add a curve to that line on your face and show the good 32 sparklies!!

LOVE
Loving your parents, partner, children or loving your family is what everyone does. But where is that “LOVE” which makes us who we are. “LOVE FOR ONESELF”. In this era of never ending demands by others, getting judged by don’t know who alls, we need time to gather together that shattered image that others make us believe of us. Simple remarks include, “You could’ve done this better. This is okay but not that great. Why did you take so long in finishing this. Etc etc etc..” People are judging us all the time, as if that’s their full-time job to do it. I have myself been a victim of such amazingly sadistic comments. Earlier I would be depressed for hours or even days altogether if someone said even a small thing to me. Well, it was not too late that I realized, “Hey!! Words can’t harm you”. And it became more and more clearer to me that the ones who pass comments so easily can’t even think of doing anything so close if they are put in the same situation. Most of them are those who are running away from their own insecurities.

So, next time someone comes up to you and advises you on how you can do better, smile and forget what they said 😉 . Let them deal with their insecurities. It will surely keep you sane and help you become a better person, rather than a sulky one.

Hope you enjoyed reading my blog.

Adios amigos !!